WHY I STARTED GOING TO THERAPY
I was in therapy for over a year and only a couple of people knew. It’s not that I was ashamed or hiding anything; I just needed to preserve that space only for me. People often think that you have to be in this deep, dark mental state in order to start therapy. However, I was in a solid place when I decided to start. I knew that I had some limiting and self sabotoging behaviors that I wanted help to overcome. I knew having someone who didn’t “know” me point out my blind spots would be very beneficial to me in the long run!
One thing that became loud and clear to me in therapy, was the fact that everything in our lives is connected. It is foolish to think we can seperate and segement our lives so that how we feel about things in one area doesn’t bleed over to the next. Faith, fitness, relationships, money, self-esteem, etc. are all connected.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” – Proverbs 11:14
HOW DID I FIND MY THERAPIST?
First, I googled Christian therapists in my area. I was then shown a directory with 100s. From there, I looked for black women. It was important to me to feel a since of safety with the therpist I would sharing personal details with. Someone who could relate to my experiences and understand me not just spiritually but emotionally as well. I was so overwhelmed by all the options. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me to find the right choice for me.
As an act of faith, I took a step and booked a consult with a women who seemed great from the write-up on her website. I was blessed to love the first therpist that I visited. Trust and belive I would not have given up if my first consult did not go well. I would have kept praying for God to help me find someone.
I believe one of the things that has made my therapy experience great is that I pray before each session. I invite Holy Spirit in to lead our conversation. I also rebuke the devil and demonic attacks. This helps the Holy Spirit to guide my therapist in a way that her help comes from the word and lowers the chances of her guidance coming from her experience and beliefs.
WHAT I HAVE RECENTLY DISCOVERED IN THERAPY
First, I hardly ever said that I was proud of myself. It took her pointing that out to me for me to grasp just how hard I am on myself. I recently asked God to reveal blind spots that I have. Now that I am aware of how hard I can be on myself I asked Him to show me these spots in a way that didn’t make me hate myself. I believe everyone has blind spots that affect how they view themselves and other people. These blind spots affect how we eat, work out, what we say about others, and our ability to be positive in our minds. In my case, I run a business where I am helping influential women heal and transform. I can’t do that successfully if I don’t show how to give grace to my own self. From a place of wisdom and wholeness, I want to be able to help the women that are assigned to me.
I walked around with the assumption that everyone thought that I was selfish. Although this may not seem like a big deal to you, it hit me to my core. I literally lived my whole life and made decisions based off of this lie. I had to relearn life from the perspective where that is not my truth. I was reacting to things and conversations in life based on people thinking that I am selfish. There is a lot of unlearning that I have to do with the help of the Holy Spirit.
My husband revealed to me that I have been sad a lot recently. In therapy, we dove deeper into the reasons why this is true in my life. My main love language is Words of Affirmation. My husband is very good at affirming me. Yet, I realized that I need more. When I highlight the things that I’m sad or upset about, my husband is like superman. He is all over me, doing his best to fill me up! However, when I am having a great day, he expresses his pride and excitment but not much pass that. I am leaning on the Holy Spirit to reprogram my brain to not lean towards saddness to get affirmed by my husband. I am also working to affirm my ownself more!
Again, I went to therapy for help in navigating my career. However, those emotions led me to dive deeper into unexpected areas! My marriage, relationships with family members, my weight/ body, how I view money, navigating life as a black woman, and the list goes on. I would recommend a good non new age Christan theripist to ANYONE, no matter if you have a great life or suffer with mental illness.
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” – Proverbs 12:15
MY ADVICE FOR SOMEONE SEEKING THERAPY
As a Christian, make sure that you find a therapist or counselor that is lead by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes that will be within your church, and sometimes it may be someone outside of it. You may not feel safe to open up to your deacons or pastor. It is okay to seek someone who doesn’t know you on an intimate level. Sometimes that is more helpful than someone who may be biased from a personal relationship. Invite the Holy Spirit in on the search. When you find someone who you feel will be a good fit, take a step of faith and book a consult. Keep trying until you find a fit.
“I promise you that no shame, embarrassment, or insecurity can ever outweigh what it feels like on this side of getting help. The happiness and joy that you feel is amazing. I breathe better. I see the world differently. I don’t take things so personal anymore.”
God is so good! I am so appreciative for healing, wholeness, and the Holy Spirit for leading me through therapy.
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