Removing Toxic Relationships & Making New Friends As An Adult

Your circle can either make you or break you! IF and ONLY IF you want better for your life, you have to surround yourself with others who have just as much passion, integrity, and goodwill as you do! It is a delicate dance knowing who to cut out of your life, who to share things with, and when to share it with them!

There was a reason that in Luke 8: 49- 56 Jesus didn’t allow everyone in the room to perform the miracle of raising the girl from the dead. They laughed at Him when He said the girl was not dead but ASLEEP! He didn’t want their unbelief to taint the miracle.

Personally, I’ve never had a huge group of friends even though I desired that so deeply when I was younger. I wanted girlfriends who I could trust with all my secrets and that had my back no matter what. The girls on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon made it look so fun, and when I got older Toni & Joan were #goals.

As I have gotten older, God has shown me why that was my story earlier in life. He showed me there was a purpose for me, and I had to learn to get comfortable standing on my own. He showed me that I had to learn to make moves regardless of other people’s opinions.

I learned that if I hadn’t been set apart, I would have gotten too reliant on the thoughts and opinions of others! This included everything from activities to fashion choices.

(BOY you should have seen my outfits in high school!)
( I pushed the envelop every chance I could think of.)

One of the most challenging things that I went through with the circle of girls I did have was letting go of the ones that were no longer good for me.

I realized that it wasn’t worth me feeling drained and over-extended anymore. That it was okay to walk away and make new colleagues, associates, and friends.

...the length of the friendship is far less important than the quality of the relationship! Click To Tweet

Meeting new people is something that I tend to enjoy! I was actually forced to get out and make new acquaintances after I got married. I moved 12 hours away from sister-friends and family, and I got tired of not having anyone to go to lunch with.

God has really opened my eyes to the fact that the length of friendship is far less important than the quality of the relationship. I have sisters that I met in college that it feels like we have known each other for forever. People that I’ve met in the last couple of years hold me down better than girls I have know since I was 16.

...the length of the friendship is far less important than the quality of the relationship! Click To Tweet

So taking a frequent friendventory is important. I understand that all relationships have ups and downs but making an overall evaluation of the friends in your life is a must.

Take 10 minutes today and ask yourself…

Do your inner circle of friends bring the best out of you?
Do they support you in the ways that YOU need it?
When you hang with them, do you feel anxious, sad, overextended, and mistreated?
Do they grow you in ANY way?
Are they always complaining and miserable?
Do they gossip and talk bad about everyone else?
Do the people in your life undermine your abilities (intentional or unintentionally)?

You are going to have to take a bold step to detox certain people out of your life if you want to manifest the best God has for you. I talk more in depth about why this is beneficially for BOTH of you in my post about toxic relationships.

By | 2017-11-06T16:23:31+00:00 May 3rd, 2017|Personal Development|5 Comments

About the Author:

Jená Emily Utley is a Holistic Lifestyle Maven and Possibility Trainer. She helps creative, enterprising, and entrepreneurial women achieve what they once thought impossible by attaining a fit mind, body, and understanding of God promises!


  1. Krystle Nicole May 4, 2017 at 4:38 pm - Reply

    I’m really glad you addressed this, such a common theme among women in their late 20’s and early 30’s. It seems like we go thru this awkward stage after college and once everyone starts getting married, having babies, and moving away. This topic has been on my heart lately as I rebuild my circle and look for women that are headed in the same direction as me.

    My favorite line of this whole post is: Well, the older I got the more I realized the length of the friendship is far less important than the quality of the relationship. (This is a tweetable!!)

    I’m not in the area of your event but would def come if it were closer! Wishing you much success with the event and for all the ladies to make connections and new friendships!

    • Jená Utley May 4, 2017 at 6:19 pm - Reply

      I didn’t realize how many women felt like this OR were in the same position until I made this video/post. I pray that God will send women into your life that will help nurture and grow you. I pray that he heightens your discernment so you can stay clear of the doubters and pseudo friends!

      What area are you in? I plan on expanding the event to other cities!

      P.S. Per your comment, I will be making that line a tweetable! 🙂

      • Krystle Nicole May 4, 2017 at 8:47 pm - Reply

        Thank you for the prayer! I live in Kansas City and would love some new events to attend & meet new people!

  2. Sheila May 30, 2017 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    I am new to your channel , I love your content I am in Baltimore

    • Jená Utley July 14, 2017 at 4:28 pm - Reply

      Thank you for watching! I am glad you enjoy the content!

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